Lately: August

It's been busy for us lately. I spent a week out of town with the boys and didn't really get on the internet too much. It was a nice break. Now that I'm home, I feel swamped with catch-up work and a heavy cloud of unmotivation. Mix in a teething toddler [those molars are ALMOST through, I can feel them!] and this space is the last thing I get around too. It makes me sad to think about the gaps I won't have to look back on in the future.

This month:

we dedicated the boys. There has been a baby boom at our church, and we do all the dedications at once. It isn't a specific ceremony for each child like when I was baptized. It went really well. I was kind of shocked because we had a rough night.

we spent 10 days out of town. We here means the kids and I. Josh was with us for the weekends, but had to come home for work. It was a much needed time for me. I helped my mom with a lot of work around the house. Grandparents loved on the boys. Merit enjoyed a parade. He really loves being at "da hou" and "namamama hou." I felt like I had a good break too, and just in time. Josh is busier lately, and I was starting to feel burnt out and in a parenting rut. Teething and potty training had brought us in front of the TV a lot, and it was a good way to break the habit. We also had a great time at my grandma's birthday party, and my cousin's wedding.

high school soccer season started for Josh. He is coaching at a school nearby. He is also working full time at his regular job - going in early to get out early for practices - and leading worship at our church. The season will last 10 weeks, and during that time we are both working harder. Josh obviously has a full schedule between work, soccer practices, soccer games, worship practice, and church. We share a car, and he's using it to get to all those places. I feel busier too because I am nearly single-parenting during the weekdays. I am not complaining: it is so good. I feel so blessed that we have these opportunities, and that Josh is willing to take them, so that I can be home with the boys.


a note about Josh being busy: I've been waiting for him to type up his part of our birth story. I really want his thoughts included, but he's not going to get to it during this season. Hoping to post an unfinished version soon! 

prayers have been answered. Remember when Lee was in the hospital? Merit was in the hospital too. I never blogged about it because I was in third-tri funk. During that funk, we also had significant car problems and needed to get something else. We share 1 car, so it needs to work well. All of these things have gotten us quite a lot of bills in our mailbox. This month, the hospital reduced our bills to 25% of our after-insurance costs! We sold our other [now fixed, but not necessarily good for the amount of driving we do] car! There is so much peace in knowing we are cared for by someone greater than this world.

Supermom

this post is dedicated to all mamas out there. Especially those who are my friends: you are all great examples and encouragers

You know those moments when you really want to be a supermom? I wanted to be one for the boys' dedication day. I had outfits picked out, family in town. I wanted to be able to cook breakfast, shower, look cute, have the boys ready, and get everyone to church early. This isn't too much of a pipe dream - I've accomplished it before... by chance.

The night before the dedication, Lee started violently spitting up. I would nurse. Then, instead of burping, he would just heave, and heave, and heave. We were using towels instead of burp clothes. Full size towels. He was still hungry. It happened again, and again, and again. Several times through the night.

Merit was potty training. He thinks it is really great when all our guests cheer for him, and so he 'had to go' many times. He went to bed late. He went to bed in a pack and play in the nursery since his room was being used for guests. Lee slept in our room.

I found myself sitting on the toilet of our tiny bathroom in the middle of the night. Lee would nurse a little, start to spit up. I would hold him over the sink until he stopped. Several times I tried to put him back to sleep, hoping the time would help calm his stomach and rid my milk of whatever [may have been] the problem. He was so hungry, so we'd do it again. We'd been trying to narrow down food intolerances, so I tried giving a bottle of previously pumped milk. It didn't stop. I could feel my vision of being a supermom fading with my sanity.

"Mami.... pee-pee...."

The next morning, Merit was out of sorts. It's the behavior that tells me his teeth are hurting. He would not let anyone do anything for him, except for me. I hadn't showered - unless you count being spit up on time after time during the night. I felt filthy, sticky, smelly. Lee had finally fallen asleep about 20 minutes before Merit woke up [early]. Screaming. With guests in the house. He didn't eat. He didn't want to sit on the potty. I was exhausted, and almost out of patience.

Somehow, I did make it to church. I was kind of thinking I would have to leave once the dedication part of the service was over, but the boys held it together throughout.

I was sure Lee was going to start up again while we were in front of everyone, creating puddles all over the floor. He didn't. Then I thought Merit was going for puddles when he sat down on the floor, holding himself, telling me he needed to "pee-pee." He held it.

When we got home, Lee was at it again. I was so exhausted that I nursed him, laying down, on a towel on the floor. I was too tired to even think about what I would do if he spit up like that on the bed.

I was really bummed. I want my children to be happy. I was sad that even though these are not major problems, they were going through stuff. I wanted to spend time with my family, and even while I was with them, I was worried about the kids. I wanted to sleep. I was so exhausted, I was impatient, I was stressed, I was worried. I wanted to be a better mom that day.

A truth hit me.

There was not any way to be a better mom, than to give all I can to my children. When I am beyond my ability, I am a real super mom. 

So: friends, mamas, mamas-to-be: Some days you will feel like supermom. Maybe you got the baby to sleep a couple extra hours at night, or at all. Maybe you got all your children down for a nap at the same time. Maybe you managed the kids all day and succeeded at cooking dinner. Maybe you gave the twins their bottles at someone else's house. Maybe you got to church on time, and remembered to put earrings in too. 

The days you feel like you have nothing left to give, you are fading away, you are bummed out, burned out. The days you practically bathed in the filth of your kids and nothing else goes right. The days you feel like you are failing, falling apart. You are a super mom. You are giving all for your children, and there is nothing better you could be doing. 

It is hard work. It is rewarding, wonderful, beautiful work, but it is hard. You are doing a great job. 

Also tell yourself that this, too, shall pass.  It is true, and your sweet little ones are worth it. It is just a season. You can do it!

A Haircut

Remember how poofy my hair was in that no-poo post? I was embarrassed! Not because I hadn't been using shampoo, but because it had been 7 months since I had my hair cut and it showed.

Shortly after that, I saw my aunt's blog/vlog about cutting her own hair.

I was inspired.

I tried it.

It worked!

Confessions of a Crunchy Mama: Deodorant

Don't worry - I'm not about to tell you I stopped using deodorant. You don't have to cancel our play date this week.


I did make a change to homemade deodorant.

I have some friends who are really weirded out by deodorant. The chemicals, the aluminum, the cancer stats. I wasn't really there - not super weirded out. I always prefer natural, though. And natural is often cheaper. I am definitely in for whatever is cheaper. 


I found an easy recipe on one of my favorite blogs and decided to give it a go. 


It was really easy to make and I really like it. The only differences from my other deodorant was fragrance [this has none] and texture [I think I need a bit more dry mixture]. It seems to work just as good and a bonus is that I've been needing to shave less.


I don't think I will travel with this because of the higher melting point [coconut oil melts at 76 degrees F], but other wise I don't really see a reason to go back to 'regular' deodorant.

Lee is 2 Months

Our sweet babe is 2 months old!

He is smiling and more active - kicking and punching the air. His head control is always improving.

We've had some weird spitting up problems with him and think he had a small stomach bug episode. He is off his probiotics and I am off dairy. That's hard, but he is worth it.

He loves watching Merit and is overall a pretty happy boy.

We haven't had a 2 month well visit yet, so I don't have any stats.... will update when I get them. I know he is growing a lot, and is in mostly 0-3 mo clothing but fits a few 6-9 mo outfits!

Not too much to report with such a little one. We're working on his birth story - can't wait to get that finished before we forget the details.