Dear Lee,
Last week we celebrated two separate days which I hold nearer to my heart than your birthday. They are less exciting to celebrate, more difficult to remember, and much more joyous to know we made it there again.
On Sept 29, 2012 you were 4 months old + 5 days. We almost lost you.
My mind races through the details of the day. The way you looked, the doctors we met, the feelings we felt. I want to record the details, but I don't want to relive them. I feel like I will never forget, and still an urgency to write it all down before they fade. Maybe another day.
On October 2, 2012, you were wheeled into a routine surgery. It had been postponed all day and we felt that this was good - it meant you were no longer the most emergent case in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit that day. I was filled with fear but I tried to brush it off. When you returned, we learned that surgery did not go as planned. You experienced cardiac arrest. You lost a third of your small intestine. You received a feeding tube. All of these details were alarming to us and the next hours were filled with many unknowns. It took much longer for you to become stable again.
One of our heroes, Dr. A, did CPR and by the grace of God through her you stayed with us. Although I was not happy with any of her other choices that day, I know she made the right ones. Those things deeply saddened me, but it means life. We are forever thankful.
My heart is so heavy with the memories, yet so full with the realities. Today you sing a lot. You are practicing walking all the time. You are learning how to communicate with words instead of cries. You eat, you drink, you nurse, you crawl, you play, you laugh. Oh, I can't get enough of those laughs. Medically, you are years ahead of where they predicted. Your standard development (gross motor, speech) is slightly delayed.
Sweet Lee, I am so proud of you. I am so thankful for you. I am so grateful to God for sparing your life.
This year has been quite a journey. We have had great victories, won by a great many days buried deep in the trenches.
Today at dinner your daddy asked me if we would tell you all about what you've been through. I hope so. It is hard to explain. I feel like I can't express the gravity of it all, or the joy of it all. You deserve to know how far you have come, how big of a deal your life is.
It is more than a birthday. We are not only thankful that you joined our world and have made another milestone. We are thankful that you are here, laughing and singing and playing peek-a-boo with dinner napkins.
We love you,
Mami & Daddy
