Balance

Now that we're out here in blog world, I must admit to some writers block. I was getting to where I read so many blogs, I felt like I sometimes thought in blog-lingo. Do you know what I mean? Phrases about my day with clever-artistic snapshots to accompany. It made me feel lame. I don't really know what I'm doing here. I don't know where to start. Maybe more introductions are in order, or photos of the actual Scheutzow Ranch. But, since all our current readers are already our friends, that seems kind of silly. And if you haven't been here, I'm sure what you're imaging is much cooler than the real thing!

So I guess I'll just jump in. I have been focused on balancing priorities. I have been feeling a huge void of 'me-time'. Or rather, time spent doing things that I actually want to do, things that are NOT NECESSARY. I love [really, really love] taking care of Merit, but it's not like I have the choice. It's important to reset.

Working from home is truly ideal when you have a baby and still have to work. For me. [nothing against those mamas who truly like to go to work... that's just not me]. But it still has challenges. I feel overwhelmed and guilty when I spend the whole day at home and haven't done a thing on the household to-do-list. It's almost worse than working away from home, because I add to the mess all day. Even though I'm here, I still have to remember that engaging the kids is priority - not only because it's my job, but it's just more important in life than the dishes, or cleaning the toilets. The more there is to do, the harder this is for me. I seem continually surprised by the struggle and the results. Even 30 minutes spent in JW-world or LM-world [which are unusual places indeed] can alter their behavior for the better for the rest of the day. You can tell they just feel so loved and pleased. It is so worth it. But getting there.... some days it is just hard for me. I just don't think like a 5 year old boy. It really hasn't helped that when I'm not working [on the weekends] we've been out of town or completely busy for the past 2 months. We're trying to pump the brakes a bit now and enjoy.

So, I've been trying to let go of the to-dos and just enjoy life with three kids; see things as they do, and in the least allow them to be amused with the ridiculous [to me] things that amuse them. I've also been trying to let go of the lists for some stuff I want to do too.  I have plenty of fun project lists that have been put aside for months/years. And I'm starting to dive in. It has been really fun. It's amazing how refreshing it is to create. Whether it is a meal, a sewing project, a 1st birthday gift requiring assembly... I really like missed it.

Merit is getting to be more fun every day. I don't want to miss a thing. He is making up his own games and ways of doing things and it's really fun to see his little person come out more. Yesteday, Josh accidentally taught him to hit his head as a sign for cheese. His quickness in learning is amazing. Hide and seek is a new favorite around here, check it out.